A Tale of Two Paths: Why We Chose to Live in a Van

We’re an average middle class family that seems to have everything together but we're making a big change.

Stacey and I are working on our 15th year of marriage, and closing in on 9 years as parents to our son.

We have accomplished a lot to this point, both in our relationship and in our careers.

Everything has always been a “We” thing since we got married right out of high school, at the fresh age of 19 years old – Oh, and yes it does feels good to show everyone that they were wrong about us, getting hitched so young!

Our life is good.

This isn’t a tale of instability or unhappiness leading us to take drastic actions. This is a tale of self-exploration and redefining who we are.

We have our son, who is an incredible gift, and grandparents who will take him whenever we need to have mommy/daddy time. We have a house that we love, in a good neighborhood that we chose because of the Elementary School our son attends. We have each succeeded in completely different ways when it comes to our careers. We love to travel, and have been to 10 different countries in the Caribbean and Europe, together. We’ve built up some savings and have put ourselves in a financial position that allows us to buy almost anything (reasonable) we want. We have built a great life for ourselves and we’re investing enough to put us in a comfortable place come retirement.

I’m a workaholic and success is within my grasp—but do I want my life to revolve around work?

A significant piece of how we got here is because I am an absolute workaholic. I worked two jobs and put in 50+ hours a week right out of high school. I earned my way into a management position before I was 20 years old. I have been grinding at the casino for a decade now, working my way through 8 positions over 10+ years, to where I am now – Sportsbook Manager. I often spend between 50-75 hours a week doing everything I can to impress leadership for that next job opportunity and it has paid off with plenty of pay increases and leaders that absolutely believe in me. I am well on my way to a Director or Executive position within the company. If I continue on this track, that is a realistic outcome in the next couple of years.

We’re doing all the things we’re “supposed” to do. Even if some of our tactics haven’t been the most typical, we’re definitely within the range of acceptable and respectable to our family and society at large.

But… what if there is more we want?

Do I want to spend my life focused on work? Do I want to be a barely-there dad who gets frustrated easily and lives through those occasional date-nights and one or two vacations a year? There’s nothing wrong with that life. There is value in the long haul hustle and finding beauty in the little moments. We know we could keep going this way and be happy, that isn’t the question.

The question is—Is that what WE want?

Recently, we’ve considered another option. A entirely different path to pursue. A whole different life.

We could leave behind this life we’ve built to prioritize travel and experience… by living in a van.

We’ve considered this as a lofty “one-day” dream for a long time but what’s actually stopping us? It’s really a matter of choice. A choice that would mean abandoning that career I’ve spent a literal decade building to start vanlife. (Yes, vanlife is a noun at this point!)

We would need to up and leave our house, our son’s school and 10+ years of hard work and perseverance that helped build everything we have (monetarily, of course). To add to that, Stacey works part time at the same casino, in an easy well-paying job, so not only would I have to leave a solid career with a great salary but Stacey would have to leave an extremely flexible part-time gig with a stupid-good hourly rate... No big deal, right?

So why would we even be considering this?

Why leave everything that has been great and looks to be getting better-to live in a van… Well, because we have grown to realize we are not your ordinary family, nor do we want to be.

We love to travel and we want to see the world. We have really considered our core values and what is important to us over the last several months. Time with one another, especially while our son is young, is something we can never get back. In our current lifestyle, we make it a priority to enjoy a great vacation a few times per year, and for a long time that was good enough.

It’s not enough anymore. We want to see more and we want more of each other. Being a workaholic got us where we are, but the problem with that is it prevents me from being very supportive at home, for my wife, for my son.

Oddly enough, one thing I preach at work is to maintain a healthy work/life balance and by leaving the casino and going on this advanture, I will finally be putting my family first and living by those words. It took me until now to realize that the most important thing in life is spending valuable time with my wife and son, especially while he is still a kid and I can help my wife mold him into a man.

It’s not all bad when it comes to finances with vanlife. Stacey’s also an author. She has worked extremely hard to build her brand and she is rather successful because of it. In May of this year she published her 13th book and in October her 14th will hit the market. You can find her and all of her books at www.staceytrombley.com or on Amazon by searching for her name. This is a source of income that isn’t reliant on being in a specific location, so that job can hit the road with us. I need to find some kind of remote income as well, but with one of us locked-in we have some stability and it helps make the transition easier.

Wow, that is so strange to say! After 15 years of being the breadwinner in the family, now she could be the rock and foundation of our finances. If I am being honest, this switch in family roles is really exciting. Not because I am tired of working hard for my family, I assume I still will, but because I am extremely proud of my wife and how hard she has pushed to get herself where she is today. For a long time my hard work put us in a good position with a great life and now we are presented with an opportunity to change everything we do, adjust to a lifestyle that is more what we want now, and it is because of the hard work Stacey has put in over a long period of time. That is a true partnership, we are a fantastic team!

Looking at everything we have to consider, it seems like such an obvious choice to us.

Despite the fact that it will be a complete shift in everything we know about life. Despite the path we have been going down during our 15+ years together. Despite that fact that we will be going from a 2,000 square foot home to an 80 square foot one. Despite it all, we know exactly what we want now. And we won’t let fear, or anything else, take this opportunity away from us!

Please follow along on this advanture of ours!